SO yeah. Its been a bop since I even thought about this blog. A lot has happened in the 2 months since I've been on here, so lemme start from the beginning. That guy I was writing about liking in the last post??? He's no longer a person I talk to. While we were talking and hanging out and going to Prom together (or planning on it) he was also apparently talking to another girl. Oh, and they started dating. But he didn't want me to know any of this. But, he decided that he didn't want to go to Prom with me anymore, but didn't want me to know about any of this either. Oh, and he told all of this to one of our mutual friends, who told me soon after so I could tell him to go before he got the chance to ask. Ya know, I did like him, but I know that I deserve to be treated better than that. So I told him to go to Prom with her instead and that I'd find a new date (the last thing I need in my life is pity from a guy who is too insecure to be without a girlfriend). And after weeks on end of not having a date, I finally got one, a day before paperwork was due (that worked out luckily). But my new date gets his own paragraph. But honestly, what goes around comes around, because I am now going to Prom with a 21 year old musician (who happens to be a former Hollister model) (ya girls gettin it) and my original date went through a total of 7 dates and is now going alone. And not that I think going alone is something to be ashamed of (that was my plan for weeks) but I know that he does, and honestly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't amused by his lack of a date. When you're not good to people, they're not good to you.
So here we go. I have a new date to Prom. And we've been hanging out a lot. A LOT. Yikes. Except he's the intern at my church which makes him technically my youth leader. But since I'm 18 I don't really know if that matters. But he's so sweet and honestly I'm dreading the day he has to leave (which, like any good hallmark movie is the same day as my graduation). I was telling some of my guy friends about the stuff he's done for me, and the stuff we do when we hang out and they're all trying to tell me that he likes me (which wouldn't be an issue to be honest). I'll fill you guys in. We were playing with the worship team the weekend of my birthday, and I'm a lot younger than all the other people on the worship team. They all asked me how old I was so I told them, 17. Then he interjected and said "yeah, but she's 18 tomorrow!" So the next morning, between our church's 2 services, they all gave me a card and a muffin and candy and sang Happy Birthday to me. And immediately after that, he and our youth pastor decided that he needed to run an "errand". Well it turned out that "errand" was to get me an Oreo ice cream cake (we found an ice cream cake in the freezer a few weeks before and I said something about liking ice cream cake and he remembered and 2 days before we talked about how Oreos are the greatest things ever) and a birthday card. But it's not just any ordinary card. It plays a song, and it has a disco ball inside of it that spins. Its an 8 dollar card. EIGHT FREAKING DOLLARS ON A CARD. Yikes. So he and I are the worship leaders for the youth group, and we have rehearsals on Saturday nights (I usually work but I put it on the hurry up if I know he's waiting for me). A few Saturdays ago, he texted me in the morning, and it was a video of him climbing onto the roof of the church, which again I'd said I wanted to do. So that night, we went up on the roof (accompanied by 3 middle schoolers, mind you). That same night we played hide and seek in the whole church. He and I hid together in the kitchen and none of the kids had any idea where we were. While we were in the kitchen, we got to talking. I told him about being abused as a kid, and he totally got where I was coming from, and he told me about something similar that happened to him. And ya know what?? As horrible as it sounds, I like that he can understand where I'm coming from. I like that he gets it. And if we ever got to be anything more than what we are right now, I know that he'd be understanding of my timeline of our events based on what I've been through. But where was I??? Ah the kitchen, The kids eventually found us (we got bored and moved spots). And shortly after, all the kids except my sister's best friend (who I've known for her entire life) were gone. He told me that he wanted ice cream. So we raided the fridge (as usual) but all we found was root beer. So we grabbed the root beer, jumped in my car and headed to Target at 10:30 on a Saturday night. After running around the store like maniacs (as usual) we settled on chocolate and vanilla ice cream and headed back out to my car. He said that he didn't want to mess up my car, so we opened the doors, stood on the seats, and used the roof of my car as a table to make our root beer floats, while blasting Katy Perry's Chained to the Rhythm. I love our adventures. Yesterday, he was complaining to me about how he hadn't eaten in 24 hours (because he left his insulin at his grandparent's house when he visited them out of state for the weekend and being diabetic, can't eat carbs without insulin), so I took him to the grocery store and made him get food, and we ran around the grocery store like crazy people, as usual. I just love spending time with him. Oh yeah I almost forgot!!! He's the songwriter/ lead singer/ rhythmic guitarist for an indie band (and they're being offered a record deal when he goes back home) and they have music on iTunes and Spotify, and he asked me to help him with what he lovingly referred to as his "Taylor Swift breakup song" and I (of course) willingly obliged. I wrote the bass line for it, and he asked me to record it for the song (so I did obviously) and he asked me to sing the harmonies for him which I also did. And he told me that I'd be listed as a composer on the album when it comes out which is super duper exciting. I didn't even know that I could sing well, let alone well enough to be on iTunes. But that was super fun to work on and super exciting. All these people keep asking me if/ when I'm moving to Florida and if we're dating and when the wedding is and I don't even know if he likes me. Like people I would never expect to say that kind of thing to me. Like my parents "subtly" mentioning that they'll support me no matter where I live and talking about how great schools in Florida are. Or my grandmother talking about how great she thinks he is and then randomly telling me how she got married right out of high school and it worked out great. I don't know what to do. But I know that on Saturday, we're going to get ice cream at my favorite little family farm around lunchtime, and then after I get off work we have rehearsal and he wants the whole band to help him record a song he wrote. (He says the whole band, but it'll be mostly us, and we both know it). I don't know if he likes me, but I don't wanna get my hopes up because he's only here for another 2 weeks, But I'm gonna be in Disney a few days after he leaves, and he has season passes and has never been before and he said he might come visit me in Disney. (If it wasn't already obvious enough I SUPER want that to happen.) I'm also like 90% sure that if he was like "Hey wanna get married and move home with me" I'd be like "Sure" and I'd leave everything and everyone I've ever known and restart my life. Tomorrow is my last full day of High School and to be honest I hope I can spend all my time with him before he leaves after tomorrow.
But you've read the first paragraph of this long blog post, you know that my life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows since I last wrote. I was also diagnosed with Depression a few days before my birthday, and it caught me off guard at first. I didn't believe it, how could I be Depressed, this was the happiest I'd been in years. But the more I though about it, the more real it became. So maybe a fresh start would be good for me. Who knows. If you guys wanna be helpful little stalkers, and actually give me advice on this whole post it would be much appreciated. Feel free to be useful in the comments section. Or not, ya know whatever works. I'll make sure to fill you guys in on everything afteyr Saturday (is that a date???) Catch ya on the flip side.
Yikes I almost accidentally deleted this whole post tht would've been bad.
