i know i've missed a few days. it's been an eventful two days to say the least. saturday morning, around 4 am one of the girls had a seizure. all the other girls in her room woke up and an ambulance came and got her and took her to the hospital. luckily, everything is okay. then saturday afternoon, after the morning session, we all went snowboarding. i only made it down the mountain once though, and it took me an hour because i fell so many times. this wasn't my first time snowboarding so i don't know why i was having so many issues and so many falls. i couldn't stop once i picked up speed. the only way i was stopping was when i fell. and boy did i fall. with each fall i could feel the pain in my body growing and i kept telling myself that the only way to stop feeling the pain was to get to the bottom of the mountain. i knew that with each fall my pain would grow more intense in the days to come. the only thing standing between me and the lodge was the rest of that mountain and i had to get down it one way or another. i fell hard, and i fell often, and two days later i can still feel where i fell the hardest, and all my muscles are still sore from pushing my body back up onto my snowboard after falling and sliding each time. but i don't discount my experience on the mountain that day. it taught me a lot about who i am. it showed me that i am determined and i persevere through obstacles, but also that i know my limits. i'm finding my balance of what i can and can't do, and i'm okay with that. does this mean that i'll never snowboard again? probably not. it's likely that i'll go again, possibly even this year as crazy as that sounds. because to me, it's about the people i'm with, not what we're doing.
i'm not gonna lie here, it was an off weekend for everyone. people were just acting different than they usually do, and it was kinda weird. people that are usually outgoing were more detached, and one kid in particular who typically keeps to himself was hanging out with everyone, and was flirting with all of the girls in our group. people were just acting different for no reason and i'm not sure why.
it's so cold outside. i can't wait until friday. that's when i leave the cold and head for sunny orlando to spend the week in disney. it's in the upper teens right now and i miss the warmth of the sun more than ever. as someone who is always cold, i can't understand why anyone could prefer winter.
so here i sit. alone at a table in the cafeteria writing this post from my phone, which has become the norm recently. i don't really mind sitting alone because i know that my friends aren't outside the four walls that make up my high school. and i know that i'll still have them after high school. i can't wait for graduation though. having already been accepted into my first choice college i find it excruciatingly difficult to care about high school. i have just over four months left.
sorry this post has been kinda all over the place, i have a lot on my mind and only two minutes left of lunch. i might be going to the aquarium soon with the kid i like. we were talking about lions on saturday and i suggested we go to the zoo and see the lions, and he said that he likes the aquarium better because it has a better ambiance, so we should go there instead. i agreed, but inside i know that this will likely end up like all our other plans, that stay just that. but who knows, maybe i'll plant the idea in his head later and it'll actually happen...
lunch is over gotta go back to calculus. i'll be posting again tomorrow and maybe even later today if you're really lucky
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